The following comic was written in February 1998, and
only just illustrated in May of 2007.
(My superpower is procrastination.)
Volume X Issue II
Frame 1 (Ambulance careening through South Chicago in the middle of
night. Dramatic lighting. Rats scurrying from the squealing tires.)
Frame 2 (Ambulance stops in front of run-down apartment building. The
driver stays in the car while two EMTs rush through the front door with
a collapsible gurney. Lights come on in a couple of windows and several
tenants watch with detachment from upper stories.)
Frame 3 (They come back out of the building with a little old man
strapped to the gurney. The smaller of the two notices a robbery taking
place down the street. )
Rochelle: "I, uh, I have to go throw up."
Greg: "What? Again? Did you forget your dramamine?"
Frame 4 (Rochelle dodges toward the dark alley next to the apartment
Rochelle: "I'll be right back."
Frame 5 (Ambulance guys sit around impatiently with their arms crossed.
Little old man seems to be unconscious.)
Frame 6 (Ambubabe suddenly appears in front of the ambulance guys, head
up, hands on hips, vogue-ing. She has on her usual dark leather bodice,
miniskirt and boots, with the white cloth armbands with red crosses
them. Greg's mouth hangs open, his knees go akimbo and his fingers are
splayed in the usual comic book gesture of surprise. Bob, the driver,
rubbernecks out the window of the ambulance.)
Bob: "Ambubabe! What are *you* doing here?!"
Frame 7 (Ambubabe reaches past Greg into the ambulance.)
Ambubabe: "My job, citizen."
Frame 8 (She removes something with lots of wires and cables and spins
it above her head until it turns into a blur. She sees the gunman
exiting the all-night mom&pop store down the street.)
Ambubabe: "Hold it right there, creep!"
Frame 9 (Creep turns tail with the gun in one hand and his bag of loot
in the other.)
Frame 10 (Ambubabe flings object. Old man behind her struggles against
the straps of the gurney.)
Old Man: "unh..."
Frame 11 (Flung object slams into creep and entangles and shocks him
into unconsciousness before he falls down to lie in the street.)
Frame 12 (Ambubabe vogues again in the aftermath of a job well done.
Behind her, Greg examines the old man with a concerned look on his
Greg: "Ambubabe! The old man's heart stopped, and you just threw
our mobile resuscitation unit! Quick, I'll do CPR while you take over
Frame 13 (Close-up on Ambubabe face, a couple strands of the bangs on
her wig draped artfully across her eyes, mouth twisted in disgust.)
Ambubabe: "I don't know.... He doesn't look kosher. Wait! Let me
Frame 14 (Ambubabe leans over the old man and lays her hands on his
chest, eyes closed and face relaxed, as if meditating.)
Narrator: "Ambubabe uses her mutant powers of medical equipment
to search deep within the old man's chest. A quiet 'click' is heard."
Frame 15 (Ambubabe returns to her interrupted vogue.)
Ambubabe: "You see Greg. It was a malfunctioning pace-maker all
time. He'll be all right. Gotta go. Bye."
Frame 16 (Ambubabe leaps away as the police car shows up to pick up
creep. Bob and Greg finally get the now-breathing old man into the
Frame 17 (Rochelle comes back out of the alleyway, holding her stomach.)
Bob: "I can't believe it Rochelle! You missed Ambubabe! Man, she
Rochelle: "Yeah. Well... I uh..."
Bob: "Yeah. I know. Tell you what... you drive back. I don't want
throwing up on me on the way to the hospital."
Frame 18 (Rear of the ambulance, Greg shuts the doors.)
Narrator: "Rochelle wonders how long they'll be fooled by the nausea
ruse. She knows she has to come up with something else soon. But for
now, this is the best way for her to comb the city looking for her evil
twin sister, Ampubabe."
Frame 19 (Driver's side, looking in at Rochelle, city rushing past.)
Narrator: "Because she knows that her sister is in deep with the
donor black market. Ampubabe's diabolical new scheme to steal kidneys
from unwitting traveling salesmen she meets in hotel bars has got to
Frame 20 (Close-up of Rochell'es face. She reaches up to adjust her
glasses with one forefinger.)
Narrator: "Yes, it was all well and good for her ambulance buddies
talk about grabbing a beer and heading home. But she knows she can't
relax. She knows..."
Frame 21 (Close-up on Rochelle's eyes, city reflected in the glasses.)
Narrator: "A woman's work is never done."
Frame 22 (Rear of ambulance)